I didn't read your letter closely (because I have thousands of unread
messages in my in-box, as many people do nowadays, so always keep that
in mind -- shorter is the most effective!), but I saw that you are
looking for a job, and you asked for me to do the equivalent of pouring
cold water on your head to get you moving in the right direction in your
career.
I can do this, but please don't internalize any
harshness in this letter -- or think that I'm trying to make you feel
bad. (I hate doing that.) Instead, I'm going to tell you what many
people will not bother because they don't want to get involved.And it's
not personal. It's because we are all so slammed. Every single one of
us. We think back on the days of college fondly. A test instead of 900
deadlines and meetings and new emails every hour? Where do I sign up?
Which
isn't to say that many people (including me) don't absolutely love
their jobs. But it is not always easy. Sometimes you will want to just
curl up in your bed at the end of the day and consider moving to a
remote island and seeing if there are any open positions in a rapidly
expanding drug cartel as a low-level courier mule. Anything but the 9 to
5.
So know that you are not crazy if you think it seems hard.
It is hard. It is lonely. It is humiliating. It is discouraging. It is
harsh. But -- it is also an absolute thrill ride. And it makes the
successes all that much more sweet.That's why it is all about framing. I
had one friend who used to hang up her "bullets,Online shopping for
Business Work Card holder from
a great selection of Office Products." or rejection letters on the wall
as proud displays of where she had applied to and then gotten turned
down from. Instead of holding that rejection shame inside and thinking
she was a loser, she celebrated the hilarity of it and her audacity of
trying.
She went for it! And 50 organizations turned her down
until she found the right one. She went on to work for some of the top
companies in the United States. Because she had a terrific attitude, and
she saw her rejections as badges of honor.The thing to keep in mind --
that many people are probably too demoralized or burnt out or
discouraged to tell you -- is that the reality of the working world
today is that there are a lot less people doing a lot more work. This
goes across every industry and in every city. Sure, there are some jobs
that are still cush and relaxing and absolutely 9 to 5 in their nature,
but I certainly don't know anyone who has one of those.
What
does it mean to be a part of that? It means you need to be a hustler
yourself rather than be an Entitled Young Person Who Expects the World
to Be Handed to Her and Doesn't Recognize How Shit Works and Doesn't
Anticipate and Doesn't Think Ahead and Doesn't Show Initiative and is an
Overly Delicate Needy Flower and Displays Zero Deference to People Who
Have Worked Their Asses Off and Has a Lousy Attitude to Boot.
The
first question is a question that I always try to remind myself because
it is a question that allows you to STFU when you are tempted to fall
prey to your lesser qualities (of which I have many): bratty, bitchy,
entitled, greedy, grubby, angry, bitter, resentful, self-pitying,
arrogant, and so forth.
For me: I want to use writing and comedy
to express truths about the human condition and to live a life filled
with joy, passion, kindness, abundance,Winbo Luggage Tags humor,
honesty and love. That's my actual mission statement. That is what I
want. So when someone pisses me off, when I am tempted to go down a
K-hole of distraction, I can ask myself: Will this benefit what I
actually want? Usually, no. That short-term reactivity often derails you
from the bigger goal at hand.
The second question is the harder
one. Are you demonstrating value in your interactions? Most of the time
with young people, it is no.I had a young man the other day who I had
given countless introductions regarding potential jobs and then I asked
him if he would read an article to let me know if it could be useful to
other young people. His response? "I'm a little busy right now."
Every
day, at least once a day, tell someone how much you appreciate
something about them or what they have done or what they are doing. Show
willingness.Soft Winbo Key Cover decorates your key in fashionable ways. Show positivity. Show gratitude.Winbo custom keychain Know
your place in the power structure of things. Don't play stupid mind
games. Be authentic (but appropriate according to the scenario).
Brighten people's day. Give them a genuine compliment. Because it is
these genuine demonstrations of goodness that will show people that you
are not a fairweather friend user opportunist nightmare.
Humans
tend to be such miserable, beaten-down creatures by virtue of the
increasing amount of work that every person is expected to take on in
the professional world today (and even if you love your job, it's still a
helluva lot more than it ever was decades ago), that giving someone a
genuine pat on the back or telling them a kind word can make a world of
difference.
And when that person then IS in a position to help
(sidenote: you'll be surprised at the people you know now who will later
blow up; I have several friends who were buds with Ed Helms when he
started in the industry, and very few thought he would be the A-lister
later on, which is not a slag, but seriously, you really never know),
you will have been the person who was there all along.
Look at
your day. If you spend the majority of it shitting on other people -- in
a nonconstructive way -- and complaining and bemoaning and focusing on
what is going wrong and G-chatting things like "Sigh" to your friends in
a pity-party-loop and generally focusing on all that is wrong and how
hard life is, then guess what: You are addicted to your misery.
And so on.Winbo Iphone Headset Yeah,
I know I am annoying and aggressive and boasting and maybe you'd rather
do any profession as long as it didn't lead you to seeming like the
narcissistic self-congratulatory workaholic I am presenting myself as
here. But you don't need to be AS aggro as me. Think about how it might
relate to YOU.The next time you are tempted to write someone like me to
ask them for advice, sure, do it if you like, but also think about this.
You live in the age of Google and social media. Literally anything is
available at your fingertips.
It's funny because a lot of people
think I have some secret to reporting skills because I would uncover
things at The Post that others would not find. Most of the time I did
not possess some great secret. I was just like a dog with a bone in
knowing that it had to be out there. I kept looking and looking and
looking. All I did was Google. I would think the way that something
might exist and then I would find it.
Do you want to connect
with other members of your alma mater? Here's how I would do that. I
would Google (if you were me, since this is where I went to school)
things like "during my time at Northwestern," "loved Northwestern,"
"undergrad at Northwestern," or if I wanted to be a blogger and find
other ones, "successful blogger" and "Northwestern."
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